


a little light

by itsmylifekay



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, minor hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 19:10:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21463081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmylifekay/pseuds/itsmylifekay
Summary: based on this post:Eddie: I am very upset and there is nothing that will make me feel better.Bobby:Eddie: No.Bobby:Eddie: Don’t.Bobby: *brings Buck into the room*Eddie (fighting back a smile): Fuck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 49
Kudos: 1082





	a little light

**Author's Note:**

> post from tumblr, originally with different characters, but i changed it for my purposes lol

If there’s one thing in life that Eddie’s learned, it’s that some days you just feel like shit. It doesn’t matter what’s happening, what you’ve done, or how much you try to push through it. You just feel _bad. _ For him, bad usually means angry—at himself, at the world. But now that anger comes with an itch just beneath his skin, an itch to hit something, _hurt _ something, to go out and risk it all for a few minutes of adrenaline fueled silence.

He’s on the couch at the 118 now, something he’s glad for since it kind of takes away that last option. Instead he’s just staring down at his hands, tracing the lines of his knuckles and trying to ignore how much he wants to stand up and yell, kick the coffee table, punch a hole in the wall. Instead, he thinks about Christopher and how much his little boy needs him, how his whole family needs him. He thinks about his talk with Bobby, wants to make the other man proud. And he thinks about Buck.

Buck, who’s wormed his way into Eddie’s life and made a home there. Who fits under his arm just right despite being a few inches taller. Who makes Eddie smile.

Who Eddie yelled at in a fit of rage and frustration. Who Eddie has been slowly shutting out, knowing that Buck would never approve of what he’s doing, that Buck would look at him with a sad, worried frown and make Eddie feel even worse for putting it there.

So he’s on the couch, away from Buck, away from everyone else. Just trying to slog through it on his own.

It’s not long before he hears footsteps, though, and a warm hand squeezes his shoulder.

“You doing okay?”

He looks up at Bobby and tries for a half smile, knows Bobby sees right through it with the way his eyebrows furrow.

“I’m fine,” he says, too deep in his own darkness to want to grab the rope Bobby’s thrown his way. “Just lost in thought, I guess.”

“That’s a dangerous place to get lost,” Bobby says. “Want to talk about it?”

Eddie shakes his head. “Just one of those days, you know?”

Bobby looks at him for another moment, then nods. “Yeah, I know.”

Eddie sees a glint in his eye that he just knows means trouble, huffs out a sigh because he’s really _too tired _to deal with anything right now.

“If you’re having a bad day, that’s fine. Doesn’t mean it has to stay that way, though.” He gives Eddie a pat on the back. “You wait here. I think I have just the cure.”

“What? No. I said I’m fine. You don’t need to—”

Eddie sees the corner of his mouth twitch just before he turns and walks away, leaves him staring at his retreating back in confusion. What could he possibly have in mind? Eddie sure as hell can’t fight here and as much as he’d appreciate it, he doesn’t think a lovingly crafted meal would do the trick either.

But Bobby isn’t heading for the kitchen, he’s walking down to the garage where Eddie knows Buck’s been put on truck-cleaning duty.

It’s probably one of the only reasons the other man isn’t sat right beside him on the couch.

“Bobby,” Eddie calls out, a clear warning in his tone. Buck doesn’t need to be pulled from his work to deal with this. And he sure as hell doesn’t want that thousand watt Buckley smile aimed in his direction. The way he’s feeling now, his soul would probably shrivel into dust.

Bobby doesn’t respond and it’s not long before he hears two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs. He buries his head in his hands and wills the couch to swallow him whole.

“Uh, so does someone want to tell me what exactly’s going on?”

Buck sounds so adorably confused and without even looking up Eddie can already picture the look on his face, that familiar combination of earnest and unsure, so eager to please but not quite sure how to go about it.

He can already feel the beginnings of a smile pulling at his lips.

“Nothing’s going on,” Bobby says. “Like I said, you were looking a little tired, so I thought you should take a break.”

“Okay,” Buck says slowly. Eddie looks up as they come around the front of the couch. “But I told you I felt fine? I got like, six whole hours of sleep last night.”

Bobby huffs. “We’ll talk about your sleep habits later. For now, just sit down and stop arguing.”

Buck holds up his hands. “Alright, whatever you say, Cap.” He flops down on the couch beside Eddie, hard enough to make them both bounce, and gives Bobby a stupid grin as he reaches for the controller on the coffee table. “I’ve been meaning to beat Hen’s score at Mario Kart anyway.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Bobby laughs.

“Hey!”

Buck is pouting like a child and Eddie really can’t stop the chuckle that escapes him, tries to school his expression when Buck turns to pout at him, too.

“Traitor,” he grumbles, but settles back against the couch, pressed up all along Eddie’s side as if there isn’t a whole other half of the couch he could be spread out on.

Bobby shakes his head and walks away, gives Eddie a knowing look as he disappears around the corner.

And yeah, that’s fair, because Eddie’s smiling like an idiot and the darkness from before feels further away. Like it can’t survive in the same space as so much light.

The game starts up and pretty soon Eddie is watching Buck pilot a little mushroom man around a track, throwing bananas and shells and slamming other drivers. He leans into every turn, lip between his teeth, and Eddie is a little mesmerized by it all, by how much Buck beside him makes him feel so good.

He presses his thigh a bit closer, readjusts so his arm is on the cushions behind Buck’s shoulders, body angled to give Buck more room to flail around. Buck glances at him from the corner of his eye.

“Seriously man, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “I’m okay.”

And the thing is, he actually means it.

Buck smiles, goes to nudge Eddie’s shoulder and winds up wedged in his armpit instead, just stays there like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It makes Eddie’s world go a little sideways. A little fuzzy at the edges.

He looks at Buck and thinks _oh._

Thinks, _maybe this is where I’m supposed to be._

And if there’s one thing in life that Eddie’s learned, it’s that some days you just feel like shit. It doesn’t matter what’s happening, what you’ve done, or how much you try to push through it. You just feel _bad._ But those days don’t last forever.

And one bright light can chase away a _whole_ lot of darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr, same username


End file.
